fifteen minutes of internet fameandy warhol wrote that in the future, everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes.
the beauty of the internet is that fifteen minutes can last forever.
in the late summer of 1996, while working on microsoft word, i was involved in some work with distributed authoring over the web, through what's now the w3c "webdav" committee. (see this paper, for example.) this sets the stage for what happened next. noah edelstein sent an e-mail to a few folks at ms telling us about the web site www.bubbe.com and asking humorously if it was a mitzvah to design a web site for one's bubbe.
i promptly put down all productive work and wrote a talmudic commentary on the issues of web site design. the humor is mostly a parody of the talmudic writing style (familiar to anyone who's read even a bit of it) but also included a timely reference to the problems of distributed authoring over http. my favorite part was rabbi gideon of sh'chem entirely quoting a passage that was a mere two paragraphs before.
i sent it to noah, to aaron snow, and to ethan zoller. and also to my boss, dean hachamovitch. each of them forwarded it to their jewish technogeek friends. and so it spread.
i knew i'd hit on something big when (1) aviv roth forwarded it to me from boston, having received it from abroad, and (2) andy seres mentioned at a rosh hashanah dinner party that he'd read a hilarious bit of email on talmud and the web. he had no idea i had written it.
amazingly, it's still being forwarded, and is archived in several places around the web. i've included some of those links for you, and also posted it below. amazingly, while people have added text before and after my original text, not one word of my writing has been altered or omitted in any version i have seen. my text begins right away with rabbi tarfon of bet she'an designing a web site for his bubbe, with no preface.
enjoy.
Rabbi Tarfon of Bet She'an said of Rabbi Shlomo ben Yechezkel ofTiverya: It is said that in those days Rabbi Shlomo ben Yechezkel ofTiverya designed a web site for the mother of his father, Sarah the daughter of Pinchas, who begat Yechezkel, who begat Rabbi Shlomo ben Yechezkel of Tiverya. Thus Rabbi Shlomo ben Yechezkel of Tiverya performed the mitzvah of web site design.
Rabbi Michal ben Elkanah, who only had one eye, said: But is it not also said that in those days there was no web, only gopher?
Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron said: It is true, but as it is written: "A web browser may also use the gopher protocol, in addition to the HTTP protocol."
Rabbi Eliezer asked: Why does it specifically mention that the web browser may also use the gopher protocol, when it is written elsewhere that a web browser may use any protocol? Because the gopher protocol is especially meritorious, since it enables support of legacy systems.
One time a poor man came into the home of Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron and asked for two megabytes of disk space on the web site of Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron. Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron refused the man, but instead gave him a personal web server for his own use. At this point Rabbi Yehudah ben Yerachmiel asked Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron: Why did you refuse this man's request, but instead give him a personal web server for his own use? Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron replied: It [the Mishnah] teaches: "When a poor man comes into your home and asks for disk space on your web site, first ascertain whether he is going touse it for his own purpose or for the purpose of idol worship. If heis going to use it for his own purpose, grant him the space he asks, unless it exceeds twenty ephraot [one ephrah ~ 213 kilobytes], in which case you may refer him to a local Internet service provider, for as it is written: It is not upon you to complete the task, but neither are you free to desist from it. If he is going to use it for the purpose of idol worship, then do not give him the space, but instead rebuke him, that he might see the error of his ways and refrain from idol worship."
Rabbi Gideon of Sh'chem disagreed, saying: It [the Mishnah] also teaches: "When a poor man requests space on an FTP server, you must grant it without asking why he is going to use it." Why would the Mishnah impose requirements on a web server but not an FTP server? Rabbi Shmaryahu of Hevron said: Rabbi Eliezer said: Why does it specifically mention that the web browser may also use the gopher protocol, when it is written elsewhere that a web browser may use any protocol? Because the gopher protocol is especially meritorious, since it enables support of legacy systems. Similarly, the FTP protocol is especially meritorious. Therefore, it is unfair to deny a poor man access to FTP, whereas it is sometimes permitted to refrain from giving a poor man access to HTTP, because without HTTP he can still serve files using FTP, but without FTP he will be unable to put his files on the server, since the means for saving files over HTTP are unreliable.
selected archives
http://www.vjlists.com/archives/jewish-humor/dec96/msg00000.html http://www.shamash.org/mail-jewish/Purim97/main.htm - someone added lots of hyperlinks (!) |